Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
