just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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