I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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