I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
