shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
