This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
