So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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