who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
