I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
