Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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