Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
