I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
