is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
