benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
