I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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