What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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