I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
