My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So vagazzling was a success
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
