i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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