thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
