I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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