I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
