I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
