we have officially lost it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
