You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
