We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
