i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
