what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
we're so committed to being not committed
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
