I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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