the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
