it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
