tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
