your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
