Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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