a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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