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It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize