I should be sponsored by Trojan
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
