community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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