He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
