Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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