ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
