P.S. I can't hear my feet
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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