It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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