Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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