All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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