He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
