I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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