How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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