Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
