your thong is hanging out like whoa
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
